"Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you." ~ Maori Proverb
She was young when she heard that proverb for the first time. How young, she was unsure of; But young enough that it was hard to recollect anything else from that time. All she could remember were those three times she had heard it. She had stopped keeping track of years a long time ago. After all, time is only an illusion.
Instead she chose to record her life in experiences; events that had impacted her life in ways she can never forget. For her, time ceased to have much meaning. She had no commitments to meet, nobody to spend time with, nothing rushing her. She was alive, but deprived of a life. She would smile, but not with her heart. She would sleep, but never dream. She chose to live in a bubble. Every outsider was from another planet, and news from such a planet was irrelevant.
When she first heard the saying, it was from her mother. She walked up to her and said, “Smile, even if you feel like crying. If you keep looking at sun, you’ll never see a shadow. They’ll never be able to touch you.”
And soon, her mother left her. She left her on a cold dreary morning. The ground was scattered with dirty puddles, while the sky with dark, mean clouds. There was very little trace of sunshine but the brightness had momentarily disappeared. While raindrops splattered on the ground outside, teardrops stained her pillowcase inside. And yet, she didn't give up looking at the sun.
Time hadn't progressed very much before she heard it again, this time from her friend. He laughed and said it was something he learned at church. He brought back the sun into her life. And he was the artist that painted sunshine when the sun failed. He kept telling her to smile and look at the sun.
And she only wished he’d stay by her, painting. But he too was gone. Gone without a note, or word. She could never find him, nobody could in fact. That was a problem. And yet, she held on. She continued to look at the sun, whether it shone bright or not.
Time passed. The third and the last time she heard the saying was from the one she loved. But when it came from his lips, it was quite strange and twisted. “Don’t smile,” he told her. “Don’t smile, unless you mean it. Cry if you have to. But never look away from the sun. Even if it blinds you.” And deep down, she believed she wouldn't have to face a blinding sun alone. She knew she’d have him by her always.
And is she to blame to have trusted him? Because he too, left. And as he left, the last of the sunbeams reached the earth. She hoped they would cling on, stay there forever more. Soon, the earth and sky met in a streak of blood red, as if like a stained blunt knife’s edge.
She watched the sun go down for one last time and has been lost in the darkness of the ominous shadows ever since.
